my journal. my diary. my thoughts. my ideas. my dreams. my experiences. my fears. my wants. my needs. my desires. my life. me.

4.16.2002

 
so i'm a 'stupid bitch.' ha. what a bloody joke. i'm a 'stupid bitch' according to kevin because *we* broke up and he has the audacity to want to hook up with CHELSEA. you have got to be kiddening me. i'm a 'stupid bitch' because he gets what he wants. that's fucking it. HE GETS THE 'GIRL OF HIS DREAMS' while i'm left here, ADDICTED to him, and I'M a STUPID BITCH. that's the most patethic thing i've ever heard in my life. i can't even believe this shit. i can't even freaking BELIEVE this shit. she can go ahead and hate me, god knows i've only called her a 'whore' more times then she knows, but he has NO RIGHT to call *me* a stupid bitch for loving him. what the hell does he expect? me to just sit back as i get this crap that he 'uses' me, and how he moves on? i'm just supposed to give up on him and then be friends with him and accept the fact that she kissed him a day after we broke up? what the HELL? fuck everyone. fuck kevin. FUCK chelsea. fuck everyone. yeah, screw everyone. i know, i know, i've said this crap a billion times... 'this has been the best and worst day' but i mean, that was thursday. i mean, all i wanted to do was to make someone happy, and i get told 'fuck you annika, stupid bitch.' i could almost laugh at this. hell, i did. but yeah. christy and tara are tired of hearing about this shit, rose is leaving for caitlina, so yeah. i'm going to have to suck this up and get over it. fuck me? FUCK HIM.

horoscope for TOMORROW:
Your emotional outlook will be erratic. Don't jump to conclusions until you have all the facts. Your lover may be defensive and estrangement could result.

i ain't looking forward tomorrow. i am sooooooooooooooo not looking forward to it. he's always defensive, freaking sensitive control freak EGOTISTICAL asshole. argh.